If They Gunned Me Down

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After living at home in New York City for my first 22 years, I decided to live on my own for the first time when I went to law school. I moved to Boulder, Colorado seeking a change of pace from the hustle and aggression of New York City. I've been away for 3 years.

My mom still worries about me.

When I visited home during the winter break of my third year of law school I stayed for a month. One night, I came home pretty late, sometime around 3AM. When I went upstairs to check on her, she was awake. I went into her room and we talked for a while.

During our conversation, we heard the loud, low buzz of a police helicopter flying overhead. You know it's a police helicopter, because that's the only thing that's flying around that late at night. With a solemnity that I'm not used to, she said "I'm glad you're home"

I smiled it off, because she always has and always will worry about me when I'm not there. I've always thought, there was never a reason to worry about me. I've got good friends who've always steered me clear of trouble. I've got a clean record without so much as a driving infraction on it. I've spent most of my time either at home or in a library.

The older I get, the more I understand that none of these things actually matter.

The older I get, the more I understand that I'm still at risk of being a target, wherever I go. I remember an incident at a McDonald's while I was in college. While I was eating my breakfast sandwich, two cops strolled in. They walk in and stop right in front of me. One officer immediately puts his hand on his holstered gun. The other one asks me for my ID. I can't possibly imagine why I'm being stopped, but I comply with the officer's request. I put down the sandwich. I let him know that I'm reaching for my wallet. I reach in and hand him my driver's license and my John Jay College ID. I told him that I'm a student there. The entire time I'm trying to focus on the officer asking me questions while looking at the officer with his hand on his gun. People in the building watch me and the officers, assuming who knows what. After a second, they return my ID, said that they thought I was truant in a mumbled tone and leave. Just a simple stop in New York City. There was no reason to believe that I was doing anything wrong, a show of force, but at least they let me go. I'm one of the lucky ones.

At least I didn't get shot that day. When I was younger I was aware of the story of Amadou Diallo (shot 41 times, unarmed, police claimed he was reaching for a gun). In high school, there was Sean Bell (the day before his wedding, police shot his car 50 times, unarmed). Those are just the New York stories and even then, the ones that were publicized. That doesn't include the many unnamed people who have been bruised and battered at the hands of officers using excessive force. That doesn't include the people who have been killed whose names I will never know because the media didn't see fit to report it. That doesn't include the long history in this country of people who look like me who have been killed by law enforcement for no reason at all.

When I was younger, the victims were always older. Now that I'm 25, in the demographic of young black and male, ripe for being mistreated. What's worse is the character assassinations that happen after a killing. People ask "Why would the police do this?" The media responds in kind, presenting pictures of the victim that attempt to justify the unjustifiable. There's a search for a story, a tidbit, anything that can justify the homicide at the hand of law enforcement. Maybe it's a school suspension for marijuana use. Maybe it's that the victim has tattoos. Maybe they just look thuggish, whatever that means.
When I was a first year law student, I remember leaving the school after a long day of classes. As I depart the wonderful confines of Wolf Law, a lady stares at me. She then looks at her companion and says, matter-of-factly "There's so many thugs here". This is in Boulder, Colorado. I don't even look in her direction and proceed to walk away.

For the record, at the time, I weighed just over 150 lbs, I was about 6 feet tall and I was carrying a heavy Torts textbook. I was also black at the time, as I always am. If that's your definition of thug, there's nothing I can do to change your frame of reference.

When I look at Ferguson, Missouri, and see the story of yet another homicide. I'm upset and sad. It's another unarmed kid whose name I shouldn’t know. This kid, Michael Brown, was supposed to be starting college this week, in a world where many black men don't. He had no criminal record. From reports, he's a prototypical "nice guy". And now he's dead. Killed in cold blood. Since then there have been protests and law enforcement has responded with more excessive shows of force, swat gear and wrongfully arresting reporters.

I remember after the Trayvon Martin death, when people had pictures and Facebook statuses saying "I am Trayvon Martin".

I am NOT Mike Brown. I got to go to college and graduate. When I graduated from law school, my mom got to visit me. She was able to come to my apartment, go to the campus and see the man I've become. She got to see me walk across the stage and interact with classmates who I respect and who respect me. I get to write Facebook statuses about my success and failures as I transition from being a boy to a man. When I see people asking "#IfTheyGunnedMeDown What picture will they use", it's a thought exercise and a hypothetical, not something that has actually happened to me. But most importantly I woke up this morning with a new day to succeed and fail again.

Even if the police in Ferguson, MO are reprimanded and "brought to justice", none of that will bring Michael Brown back. None of that will bring a son back to his now grieving mother. None of that will allow him to smile and say I'll be fine as he goes off to school. Michael Brown won't get those opportunities. His life will always be a life snuffed out too soon.

And it hurts…

Ray Rice: Questions and Answers

Who is Ray Rice?

Ray Rice is the former star of Rutgers football and currently a running back on the Baltimore Ravens.

Why is Ray Rice in the news?

In February, a video was released by TMZ where Ray Rice was seen dragging his unconscious fiancee out of an elevator in Atlantic City, New Jersey.  In a subsequent police report / news release, Atlantic City Police claim that Ray Rice struck his fiancee, Janay Palmer. Witnesses described it as an uppercut.

Sounds like an awful guy, right?

Not quite. By all accounts, Ray Rice has been a stand up guy. People around him says he’s great teammate, general pillar of the community. Of course, this was before he knocked his wife unconscious part.

Why did he hit his wife? Was it self Defense?

Almost certainly, no.

Ray Rice’s wife, Janae Palmer, also received a summons for striking him although the charge was later thrown out. Apparently, there is video of Palmer striking him before they got into the elevator, although that video, is not public. So if by self-defense, you mean he hit her after she hit him , then maybe. However, in most places, without delving too much into New Jersey Law, which I am unqualified to do, self-defense requires that you don’t use excessive force, which considering his weight and strength in comparison to her weight and strength, doesn’t appear likely.

Wait, did you just write wife? Didn’t she leave him after this?

Nope, they are married now, they also have a child.

Is it possible that Ray Rice didn’t hit his fiancee? He didn’t say he did and the video doesn’t show he did.

Not Likely. This entire event took place in a casino. There are cameras everywhere including one from the inside of the elevator.  This video apparently shows Rice hitting Palmer. This video is not public.

He’s going to jail forever right?

No. He entered pretrial intervention and will avoid jail time on the aggravated assault case.

What about the NFL? Will they suspend him?

Yes. He’s suspended for 2 games. Both of these games are divisional games and are important  to the Ravens for their playoff chances. Rice is arguably their best player on offense and losing him is a major thing from a purely football perspective. Also, the second game is a nationally televised Thursday Night game, so it's a big deal from a financial perspective.

HOW THE F*** DID HE ONLY GET 2 GAMES FOR BEATING HIS WIFE?

Well, according to NFL commissioner, Roger Goodell, “[Rice]’s been accountable for his actions. He recognizes he made a horrible mistake, that it is unacceptable, by his standards and by our standards.” Goodell also cited Rice’s previously clean record.

But [Cleveland Browns player] Josh Gordon got a yearly suspension for getting high. Smoking pot is worse than beating your wife?  

The short answer is that  suspensions for general law breaking are decided by the commissioner, but drug suspensions are collectively bargained between the owners and the player’s union. For drug suspensions, there are mandatory suspensions at certain points. According to the NFL Policy and program for substances of abuse, if you test positive once for pot, then you enter the program. if you continue to test positive you enter stage one. where you can be fined and then placed into stage 2 of the program. In stage two, you can be suspended for 4 consecutive games for an initial failure and then if you fail a second time you can be suspended for up to six times. If you fail stage 3 you can be banished (their word, not mine) for a minimum of one calendar year with a possibility of reinstatement up to the commissioner. Josh Gordon was in stage 3.

Suspensions based on crimes is up to the sole discretion of the commissioner.  There are appeals, but the commissioner also hears the appeals. Comparing drug suspensions and crime suspensions are apples and oranges.

But Ben Roethlisberger got 4 games for a rape accusation. He wasn’t even found guilty. Haven’t other players got more for “personal conduct policy” suspensions

Yes, this is where the discussion should begin. Rothlisberger was accused of a crime (admittedly, one more serious than Rice’s) and much less than being found guilty, he was not even charged. (Admittedly, it’s complicated, but still the accusation was researched and the DA involved in the case didn’t charge him.  Now, looking at Goodell’s suspensions based on the personal conduct policy, most of the suspensions aren’t that severe. The ones that are longer than Rice’s suspension include Albert Haynesworth [5 games, brutal attack on Andre Gurode], Adam “Pacman” Jones [1 season, lot of things], Dante Stallworth, [1 season, DUI / Vehicular Homicide] Cedric Benson [3 games, assault], Vincent Jackson [3 games, DUI], Terrelle Pryor [5 games, NCAA violations, although the 5 game suspension was to match the one that NCAA would have given],  Jonathan Vilma, Anthony Hargrove, Will Smith and Scott Fujita [16,8,4 and 3 for involvement in the New Orleans bounty program] and Aaron Berry [3 games, multiple offseason arrests]

Most of the suspended parties here are multiple time offenders. Haynesworth, Pacman, Benson, Berry. Stallworth killed a guy. Pryor’s suspension was to match the one that he would have gotten from the NCAA (that he also agreed to take). The other major ones are for on the field discretions. Note that other crimes got a relatively minuscule punishment (Michael Vick ultimately got 2 games for his felony dogfighting charges). The ones that stand out are Roethlisberger [4 games, multiple rape allegations], and Jackson who got 3 games. Comparing Rice’s suspension to those, the 2 game suspension starts to look par for the course. Suddenly, Roger Goodell starts to look light on crime.

Alright, so Rice may have been a boy scout before this, and this was his first brush with the law, but still he knocked his wife unconscious, didn’t Goodell take that into consideration?

Well Janay and Ray Rice both went to the commissioner’s office to talk to Goodell. While there, Janay pleaded with Goodell to give him a lighter suspension. Apparently, the office didn’t see the video. People believe the NFL could have obtained it and should have done so. Goodell prioritized Rice’s previous good behavior and the counseling that Rice is going through. Of course, pleading for minimal punishment isn’t atypical behavior for domestic violence victims (and to explain would require another thousand words), but it moved Goodell. Given Goodell's history, if Rice does anything to run afoul of the law, Goodell will likely look towards a yearly suspension, minimum.

What has Ray Rice said about the incident?

He spoke about it at length. He didn’t mention the incident in detail, which many people complained about, but this is also a current legal matter. As far as the statement that he put out, I think that it was as moving as it could be. He discussed being a better husband and father, and the pain that will come from having to explain it to his daughter “What happened that night was something that never should have happened. … My daughter is very intelligent and she’s going to want to know what happened. She’s going to press Google one day and… the first thing that’s going to come up is that incident” Now of course, to the people who think of Rice as callous will continue to think of him that way. No apology will erase what happened in that elevator.

So what do you think?

What Rice did is indefensible, so there’s no reason to talk about the actual incident. It deeply bothers me that people on the internet were trying to frame this as a self-defense case. But as far as the punishment, it does bother me that people are depending on the NFL to punish him more than the District Attorney decided to. Since I don’t know what happened before the incident, all I know is that the District Attorney saw fit to have Rice undergo counseling. Admittedly, Rice isn’t a typical defendant (RE: He’s rich), but counseling and trying to teach him how to handle things better is more important than empty jail time or games missed. I also don’t like the “games missed” argument. If you think that Rice is despicable for doing what he did to his now-wife, then what’s the difference between 2 football games and 4 football games missed. I’m also not sure that taking away someone’s job is great for the reformation process. If our goal here is to make Ray Rice a better husband (which he’ll have to be)while punishing him for what he did, 2 games doesn’t really bother me (especially now that I’ve seen Goodell’s previous punishments). I think 4 games would have been more appropriate, but it doesn’t really matter. What does matter, for everyone’s best interests, is that Rice becomes a better man and never does this again. I would have probably preferred that they didn’t get married, and I’m worried that sometime down the line, something like this will happen again, at cost to Janay and their daughter. However, there’s nothing the NFL can do that would affect matters, least of all giving him an extra game or so.

The Baltimore fan reaction disturbed me as well. When Rice returned to practice he got a standing ovation. Not sure how I feel about that.

Summer League quick takes.

 

Today is the summer league quarterfinal. Just a few quick thoughts about the teams in the Quarterfinals

 

Atlanta v. Houston

After the Jeremy Lin trade, I was concerned about the Houston PG situation. Meanwhile, Nick Johnson, former Arizona player, has been fun to watch and certainly a capable backup. If not, he’ll be a highlight reel for a talented Houston team

Meanwhile, Atlanta has been interesting. Dennis Schroeder has shown signs of improvement.

Sacramento v. Chicago

McBuckets is everything we thought he’d be. He’s been amazing. I love watching him play. Meanwhile, Tony Snell has been a lot better than I thought he’d be. Chicago (the real version) needs outside shooting and Snell/McBuckets have done a good job of showing why they deserve that spot.

Meanwhile, McLemore has looked pretty good for the Kings. He seems a likeable guy on a team that doesn’t have many people who fit that descriptor.

Charlotte v. New York

Hairston tore up the D-League and hasn’t missed a step in summer league. He has performances of 18, 18, 21 and 22 points. But let’s talk about Noah Vonleh. I wasn’t excited about him in the draft.  Summer league is a really small sample size, but for a pf to have have shooting nightmares of 3-10, 3-11, 4-11 and a masterful 0-13 that concerns me.

Meanwhile, in New York, Tim Hardaway Jr. is overqualified to be there. Nuff said.

San Antonio v. Washington

Austin Daye lives for summer league. He’s pretty talented, but not a consistent enough defender or scorer to be the kind of star that he is during the summer. He’s weirdly underqualified for consistent minutes in the NBA and overqualified for the summer.

For Washington to be successful, Otto Porter (3rd overall pick) and Glen Rice Jr. are going to have to be rotation level players. Both have shown signs of success and it will be great to watch them tonight 

7/11 - Bar Exam Prep - Or maybe some thoughts about basketball

A couple of weeks ago, I had a long conversation with one of my best friends in the law school, Quentin. I considered going to Las Vegas for a sports conference and to watch some Summer League games. I wanted to go, but I'm taking the bar exam in a couple of weeks (July 29th). Quentin, on the other hand, said that I should go, for a bunch of reasons, but mostly because it's a great opportunity for someone who likes basketball and a fun way to spend a Friday. I should have bought the tickets. 

Basketball is endlessly fascinating. It's a sport where, above all else, one player can affect the entire league. A baseball player can only do so much to help the cause. The same is true for football (especially if you're not a quarterback) and hockey. But when the best player in the league (with whatever respect is due to Durant, more on that later) switches teams, it's a big deal and it ought to be a big deal. The Cavaliers are automatically a playoff team and borderline contender after being one of the worst teams in the league. 

I would love to be in Vegas discussing what's going to happen with other like-minded people. The best thing for me right now has been my realization that the conference was next Friday and not today. I may have never forgiven myself. On Monday (I assume that I'll get the green light), I'll have something bigger about the whole Lebron James free agency decision and probably a little bit of discussion about fandom. I can't wait. I assume that as a result of the Lebron decision a couple of other big moves are going to happen. I assume that Lin will go to the Lakers, Bosh will go to the Rockets, and Wade will go to his nearest bar.

I'm glad that these moves are going to happen, mostly because this has been an awful week for sports radio. I'm glad that things are going to actually happen. It will make bar prep easier now that I'll stop getting messages from ESPN saying that a cupcake shop says that Lebron will go to Clevaland/Miami. I'll be happy not to know that he's having dinner with this person or that person. I'll be glad that sports talk will be less tabloid fodder and more discussion about on the court action.

What are my thoughts? The Cavaliers will be really good. Depending on what Chicago and Indiana do, they are probably the favorite. Miami is unlikely to win a title next year. But you already knew that. The bigger thing that's fascinating to me is the discussion about LeBron going to a "loaded" Cavaliers team and leaving a "loaded" Miami team. Those teams are only as successful as they've been because he's there. Wade/Bosh/Chalmers isn't a championship team. Wiggins/Irving/Thompson isn't one either. (Or Love/Irving/Thompson for that matter). Only as the result of having the best two way player in the game are these squads championship contenders.  

7/2- Bar Exam Prep: And for a while I was Neo

 

Yesterday, I noted that some days you’re Neo in the Matrix and some days you’re the security guards. Today was a Neo type of day. I whipped through Trusts. I reviewed Real Property. Everything went well. It’s funny how the bar exam takes up so much of my life right now and yet, I’m calm and collected. I’m not worried at all even though I almost certainly should be. The worst that happens if I don’t pass is… I‘m just a guy with a law degree. I’ll figure things out.

Non-Bar Assertions

• I heard fireworks today. I didn’t worry that I was hearing gunshots. That’s the biggest benefit of moving to Boulder from Springfield Gardens. For all the flaws that Boulder has, it’s still a place where I feel safe, always.
• Kyle Lowry is going to stay in Toronto. It’s weird, given his stints in Houston and Memphis, that Toronto is the place that makes him happy. From Toronto’s perspective, I think it’s interesting that they are taking a chance on someone who has been a malcontent and an injury risk. I’d still want him (for my real life team and my fantasy team)
• There’s a floating rumor about an Isaiah Thomas - Josh Smith Sign and Trade. This can’t be real life, right?
• Ben Gordon signed with the Magic. I almost forgot he was still in the league. He’s reunited with former his Pistons teammate, Jason Maxiel, who I completely forgot was still in the league.
• Boozer may soon be amnestied. It has been a while since someone was amnestied. For those who don’t know, the amnesty provision came out of the last Collective bargaining agreement. It allowed teams to amnesty one contract, which means that the contract no longer counts against their salary cap and the player is no longer on the team (is a free agent), but the team still has to pay the amount of money left on the contract. There aren’t many amnesty eligible players left. (For example, Joakim Noah, by virtue of being Boozer’s teammate is no longer eligible.) Most of the players that are still eligible for the provision are too valuable to just take off the books without a trade. (Al Horford, Rajon Rondo, Mike Conley, Tony Parker, Kevin Durant)  However, this leaves two players on the same team. Nick Collison, who’s the Thunder’s elder statesman, and Kendrick Perkins. I think we have room for one more amnesty, folks.
• BTW, that entire paragraph is probably dependent on whether Melo goes to Chicago. Otherwise, Boozer might get traded or something that excites me less.   
• I was really excited about Oliveremberton.com after this gamer-friendly post. It received a ton of attention and now he hasn’t written anything new in months. I’m rooting for a return, because I enjoy his work. 

7/1 – Bar Exam Prep: Meeting Mandatory Minimums

 

Some days are just harder than others. Today’s subject was Estates and Wills 2. Yesterday, I was able to get everything done. Today? I listened to the video and didn’t get much else finished. On the other hand, on days where motivation is a struggle, doing the minimum is better than nothing and I still have quite a bit to do. There’s only a month before the test. I know that between now and then I need to figure out a lot of things, especially the entirety of Real Property. Wish me luck. Some days I can plow through the stuff like Neo in the Matrix. Today, I was one of the security guards…  

Non Bar Assertions

• Isaiah Thomas going to the Detroit Pistons feels like destiny. It also feels like Josh Smith and Brandon Jennings are as good as gone.
• The Lakers cap space situation should be interesting. They just “lost” Jodie Meeks to Detroit and I wonder how they will meet the cap floor. I feel like a lot of people are going to get overpaid to hangout with Randle for a year. The Melo-LBJ pairing is a pipe dream, so what is the real plan in Laker land?
• Marcin Gortat stayed in Washington. Good move on their part. Gortat is a quality starting center.
• The US lost to Belgium today. That officially ends live action sports for me until about August. What a shame.

Bar Exam Prep 6/30: Allow me to reintroduce myself

 

I’m a native New Yorker. I write about the NBA for Writtalin.com. I’m a University of Colorado Law School graduate. I’m studying to take the bar exam in Colorado. For the next month or so, I’ll be writing here about this experience. Maybe no one will read this and these posts will just be cathartic. Perhaps people will read this and I’ll have to stop writing. Either way, my goal is to write about the process every night or so until 7/29.

Right now, I’m midway through Bar Prep. I’ve been studying since the beginning of June. It’s the last remnant of law school before I’m solely a lawyer. After spending most of that time unshaven and barely crawling out of my apartment for class every morning, I’ve tried to get out of the house more. Admittedly, most of my “get out of the house time” has been just for eating and buying necessary things, but we’ll see.

Non-Bar Bullets

• Jason Kidd is my new hero. Somehow he transitioned from aging veteran to NBA coach to NBA Coach / Soon to be Bucks president in the course of a year.
• Poor Larry Drew, despite his perceived mediocrity as a head coach, he deserved better. He went from counting his blessings, last week, to unemployed. I pity the fired head coach generally, but especially in these circumstances.
• Did you know that Jabari Parker apparently tanked his workout in Cleveland to ensure that the Bucks would take him? He intentionally went to this situation and it suddenly became worse than when he was drafted. Of course, when he wins Rookie of the Year and the Bucks are a surprising Eastern Conference playoff team, we won’t remember any of this. Remember that before the team imploded they were projected to be in the playoffs last year. They’ll be better this year and they still play in the East… just saying.
• The Pelicans just added a Point Guard named Russ in the draft. The Pelicans have made the fan transition process much easier for me
• The Big 3 are going to stay together? Good for them. Good for Miami. Good for the league. People hated the Heat so much that they were rooting for the Spurs last year. The Spurs are the same team that is responsible for the least media friendly head coach in the league and the least watched NBA finals in recent memory. Love everything here.