California Grand Juries and other things that make me uneasy

Hello, old friend.

So, about 8 months ago, I stopped writing here. I wrote a piece about Freddie Gray and halted publishing future blog posts. It was a painful thing to read about and an excruciating thing to write about. I’m back because I’m thinking something through that requires more than a Facebook paragraph, so bear with me.

So the short version is as follows: In August, Gov. Brown of California signed into law a measure that ended the use of grand jury proceedings in California in police deadly force cases. I missed it and I think it’s interesting, so I'm writing about it now.

To be clear, here’s the Wikipedia definition of a grand jury,

"A grand jury is a legal body that is empowered to conduct official proceedings to investigate potential criminal conduct and to determine whether criminal charges should be brought. A grand jury may compel the production of documents and may compel the sworn testimony of witnesses to appear before it."

Grand juries exist largely to show that a prosecutor is capable of proving that a defendant committed a crime. At their best, they weed out cases that shouldn't go to trial. A large majority of cases that go to grand jury will go to trial. There are no defense attorneys in a grand jury proceeding, so this is an easy burden for prosecutors to overcome.

However, in some recent high profile cases, grand juries have failed to indict police officers, essentially saying “No, you do not have enough evidence to indict the police officer for committing a crime.”  This upsets people who believe that the police officer(s) in question committed a crime.

Many states allow prosecutors to bring cases to grand juries. Some people view this as a way to ensure that the police officer in question won’t get indicted, while taking the pressure off of the prosecutors office to take the case to trial. If the grand jury fails to indict, then the case cannot be taken to trial.

The California Law makes me uneasy because:

1) Reducing opportunities to to ward off unwinnable cases makes me upset. Yes, I post a lot about police misconduct and behavior I view to be police misconduct, but it doesn’t mean that we should strip their rights away as defendants.  This might be unpopular in some circles, but accused police are defendants, too. If we take rights and opportunities away from accused police, why not John Doe defendant. This isn’t really a slippery slope, it’s the next stop on the train.

2) I don’t think that this change in law solves the problem that it purports to solve. If we think that prosecutors are losing in the grand jury because they are “not trying to win”, then trial isn’t going to solve that problem. I don’t think that it’s unfair to assume that because prosecutors offices depend heavily on police to investigate crimes, that they might be unwilling to convict people that they work hand in hand with. I don’t think that this bill solves that problem. It would also be difficult to solve that problem. Also, maybe I’m naïve, but lawyers HATE losing cases. I don’t think that prosecutors intentionally losing at the grand jury level happens that often. I can imagine that a prosecutor’s heart may not be into it in the same way that they would if they were prosecuting a serial rapist, for example.

3) If we think that prosecutors are trying and failing to convince the average person that a police officer committed an illegal action, what do you think is going to happen in trial?  Now, there’s a defense attorney, ready with arguments, witnesses and objections. If prosecutors aren’t able to indict, how will they possibly be expected to convict?

So what do you think? Am I misguided here?



The changes, in full:

"THE PEOPLE OF THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA DO ENACT AS FOLLOWS:
SECTION 1. Section 917 of the Penal Code is amended to read:
917. (a) The grand jury may inquire into all public offenses committed or triable within the county and present them to the court by indictment.
(b) Except as provided in Section 918, the grand jury shall not inquire into an offense that involves a shooting or use of excessive force by a peace officer described in Section 830.1, subdivision (a) of Section 830.2, or Section 830.39, that led to the death of a person being detained or arrested by the peace officer pursuant to Section 836.


SEC. 2. Section 919 of the Penal Code is amended to read:
919. (a) The grand jury may inquire into the case of every person imprisoned in the jail of the county on a criminal charge and not indicted.
(b) The grand jury shall inquire into the condition and management of the public prisons within the county.
(c) The grand jury shall inquire into the willful or corrupt misconduct in office of public officers of every description within the county. Except as provided in Section 918, this subdivision does not apply to misconduct that involves a shooting or use of excessive force by a peace officer described in Section 830.1, subdivision (a) of Section 830.2, or Section 830.39, that led to the death of a person being detained or arrested by the peace officer pursuant to Section 836."

Midnight in Baltimore

"The Baltimore Police Department will be an organization that maintains the highest standards of ethics, integrity, and accountability." - Baltimore Police Department Mission Statement

I won't lie. I'm weary. At the time that I pulled myself out of bed to write this post, it was about 10 PM local time, MDT. I'm reading about the case and following people's reactions on Twitter. I'm stressed out and I've been rubbing the part of my head where my the big forehead that I inherited from my mom and the male pattern baldness that I inherited from my father collide. In Colorado, a 25 year old black guy hunches over his laptop to write, again.

In Baltimore, Maryland, Freddie Gray was laid to rest. When my mom asked me about him this afternoon, the details got fuzzy. Was he the guy who was shot on tape? No, that was Walter Scott in South Carolina. Was he the one that was shot by the officer who thought he was using a stun gun? No that was Eric Harris in Oklahoma. Freddie Gray was the guy who got his spine broken during a transport. The details all make me weary.

Freddie Gray was in the back of a police van. He was arrested for carrying a switchblade. He was being transported without a seatbelt. What is also undisputed is that he suffered a severe spinal injury. He's dead.

I can't ignore the story. Even though I don't have cable right now, the story crept into the ESPN app. During the Orioles game on Saturday, the fans were told not to leave at the games end because protesters and police were fighting. My Twitter feed is filled with the thoughts of those who were more brave than I. My Twitter feed is usually preoccupied by sports, but many people have weighed in. Some tweets are in favor of the police, and they use passive voice to describe the spinal injury, so as not to place blame on the people who failed to put Freddie Gray in a seatbelt. Some tweets are in favor of the protestors justifying that cars have been destroyed and parts of a city are on fire. I'm wearied.

I'm going to copy and paste the statement given by the Orioles COO, John Angelos. On the other side of the keyboard, I'm taking a cookie break. Writing this post at one time takes a lot out of me, and I'm exhausted.

"The innocent working families of all backgrounds whose lives and dreams have been cut short by excessive violence, surveillance, and other abuses of the Bill of Rights by government pay the true price, and ultimate price, and one that far exceeds the importances of any kids’ game played tonight, or ever, at Camden Yards. We need to keep in mind people are suffering and dying around the U.S., and while we are thankful no one was injured at Camden Yards, there is a far bigger picture for poor Americans in Baltimore and everywhere who don’t have jobs and are losing economic civil and legal rights, and this makes inconvenience at a ballgame irrelevant in light of the needless suffering government is inflicting upon ordinary Americans." - John Angelos

On Sunday in the NBA, a player's shoulder was dislocated. Kevin Love was tussling under the rim with Kelly Olynyk. After the play was decided, the two players were still wrapped up. Olynyk continued to pull away at Love. As a result of that action, Kevin Love suffered a dislocated shoulder. He also suffered a ligament/labrum tear and a bone bruise. At worse, Olynyk behaved recklessly and at best acted with gross negligence. In other facets of life, it's so easy to see when someone causes unnecessary harm. When law enforcement is responsible for the harm, it seems that few people care unless there's a smoking gun and a video and a thousand other factors… then maybe they'll side with the dead guy. It's frustrating, and I'm weary.

Of course, in the dead guy playbook, the Baltimore Police have announced that they are investigating the incident, as if the incident happened in an isolated housing project elevator, and not with the police themselves. On the other hand, the officers involved have been suspended, pending the results of that investigation. I don't particularly care whether an arrest happens because there won't be a conviction. I'm not particularly concerned about convictions for police officers because jails do a poor job of rehabilitating people. Worse than that, the treatment that a police officer would receive in jail from other inmates would be a punishment that would make me uncomfortable. The police officers who behaved in a way that caused this man's death should no longer be police officers. It makes weary even considering these future issues.

To be honest about how little I believe in the process right now, the fact that the arrest was controversial didn't even occur to me at first. And when it did, I just sighed. Before I came to law school, I was a criminal justice major. I could study the interactions between police and their citizenry forever and not get bored. I might be exhausted, but never bored. Whether the arrest was routine and lawful or a ruthless violation of the citizen's constitutional rights, I was always curious about the process. After 3 years of law school, where I've watched professors yawn disinterestedly at bad process, listened to classmates annoyed by the audacity of questioning a police report and observed police telling half-truths and whole lies while under oath, I don't even bother anymore. Yes, it would be nice to know what the probable cause was that led to the stop, because it appears that there may not have been any, but those in authority just don't seem to care enough. Every time I talk about bad process in police stops it falls on deaf ears, and trust me, I'm an expert on deaf ears. I still care, I just don't think anyone else does. It wears on me, but I'm not finished.

I'd be remiss in not mentioning the current riots in Baltimore. The decent people of Baltimore are annoyed with years of police mistreatment. Many of them have chosen to go out to the streets and protest. Most of the protests have been peaceful. A minority of people have behaved violently, looting stores, committing arson and attacking police officers. I've seen versions of the King quote about riots, where he describes them as "the language of the unheard." It bothered me that I haven't seen it in its full context.

"Now I wanted to say something about the fact that we have lived over these last two or three summers with agony and we have seen our cities going up in flames. And I would be the first to say that I am still committed to militant, powerful, massive, non­-violence as the most potent weapon in grappling with the problem from a direct action point of view. I'm absolutely convinced that a riot merely intensifies the fears of the white community while relieving the guilt. And I feel that we must always work with an effective, powerful weapon and method that brings about tangible results. But it is not enough for me to stand before you tonight and condemn riots. It would be morally irresponsible for me to do that without, at the same time, condemning the contingent, intolerable conditions that exist in our society. These conditions are the things that cause individuals to feel that they have no other alternative than to engage in violent rebellions to get attention. And I must say tonight that a riot is the language of the unheard. And what is it America has failed to hear? It has failed to hear that the plight of the negro poor has worsened over the last twelve or fifteen years. It has failed to hear that the promises of freedom and justice have not been met. And it has failed to hear that large segments of white society are more concerned about tranquility and the status quo than about justice and humanity." - Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

The quote, in short, says that riots weren't MLK's thing. His life was committed to nonviolence. But he didn't fully condemn riots either, because he understood that to ignore riots is to ignore the conditions that make people feel that they have no other options. He doesn't just call riots the language of the unheard but he also describes the things that haven't been heard, namely the promise of freedom and justice that has gone unmet along with the segments of society that aren't listening. He said this approximately a month before he was violently killed. He said this after more than a decade of being violently threatened and attacked by city, state and federal officers. He said this after a lifetime of living in the Jim Crow South. If I'm weary from living in New York, where my absolute worst interactions with the NYPD would qualify as a good day for King, I know he must have been weary too.

One of my favorite columns that used to run was "Dead Wrestler of the Week" by David Shoemaker who wrote under the name "The Masked Man." I loved his work. Sporadically, he would write about wrestlers who died early, untimely deaths. The deaths occurred too often for comfort as many died in their 30's and 40's. Even for something as comparatively light as wrestling, Shoemaker had to be worn out after a certain point. He loves wrestling like I love the study of criminal justice and it has to be exhausting to write about the darkest portion of the topics you love. However, even though the work is exhausting, I also understand that there is power in writing about it. Somebody is going to read this. Maybe it influences someone’s thinking. Perhaps it will help sharpens someone’s argument about the incidents in one direction or another. I’m not always comfortable using my voice, but I do have one and for important topics, it is important for me to use it. I got a series of text messages last night that reminded me of that.

I have nothing left to give you. My eyes are red. My head hurts. I'm inconsolably sad. When I first started writing this post, it was midnight in Baltimore. Now the time approaches 5 AM on the east Coast, when the curfew will end. We'll have to see what happens next.

It destroys me on the inside to see that again, I'm writing about a dead kid. It crushes me that, again there's a dead kid to write about. I’m ending this by copying the closing from my Mike Brown post and adding brackets to replace Mike's name with the next guy's name. It's all I have left.

"Even if the police in [Baltimore, Maryland] are reprimanded and "brought to justice", none of that will bring [Freddie Gray] back. None of that will bring a son back to his now grieving mother. None of that will allow him to smile and say I'll be fine as he goes off to school. [Freddie Gray] won't get those opportunities. His life will always be a life snuffed out too soon.

And it hurts…"

Rainy daze

It's another Sunday. I try to be productive on Sundays because I rarely have other plans or responsibilities on Sunday mornings. I failed today. 

Because I've had a lot of big failures in the last few months, I've become exceptionally risk averse. Any time that there's a small setback, I avoid the action like the plague. Today, I haven't gone outside because it's raining. I wanted to get out of the house, ride my bike, pick up my cable box from Comcast and go food shopping, but it appears that these things are going to wait until tomorrow. 

Of course, tomorrow, the weather report predicts that there will be rain, again. 

At least I did some research today. I'm working on a big NBA post for Writallin. I'm doing some research on other people whose careers have stalled. I'll have more information about that project later this week. 

As always, thanks for reading. 

NBA: An Ode to The Crestfallen

 

The Milwaukee Bucks, New Orleans Pelicans and Boston Celtics all lost at home tonight for their third playoff lost. These series aren’t over, but a 3-0 deficit has never been overcome in the NBA. None of the teams who played tonight seem likely to change that.

I was dismissive of the Celtics. I underestimated them quite a bit. They might be favored against any other Eastern Conference team from 4-8. Unfortunately, the Cavaliers have been bludgeoning them at every turn. If a series can be summarized in one play, there was a play where Evan Turner went for an aggressive dunk in the 4th quarter that was summarily eliminated by Lebron James. When James got up, he yells at Evan Turner “You tried.”

I feel worse for the Bucks. They’ve played competitive games against the Chicago Bulls. They go home to Milwaukee and meet a crowd that seemed at least 50% filled with Chicago fans. They take the Bulls to double overtime. Then they collapse allowing the Bulls to score 12 straight points in 2OT.I watched a Bucks fan go through the seven stages of grief at a local bar. The Bucks often look like a competent team, but they’ve been star crossed all year. I’m excited about their future, but this year they’ve been simultaneously overachieving and disappointing. Derrick Rose has looked amazing, and hopefully he’ll be healthy during the inevitable second round series against the Cavaliers.

The last game of the night was a reenactment of the Battle of Thermopylae. The New Orleans Pelicans hoped that this was going to be more like the French Revolution where the rebels win. After a close set of games where the Pelicans fought valiantly, they outplayed the Warriors for 36 minutes. They had a 20 point lead against the mighty Warriors. 17 minutes later, the uprising was quelled. New Orleans’ soldiers were slaughtered. New Orleans’ leader was killed. Stephen Curry did everything but raise the Golden State logo over the Smoothie King Center and set New Orleans on fire. And then the Warriors made the comeback official in overtime. The series was over when it was announced, yet each close New Orleans loss still feels painful.

Quickie NBA First Round Preview.

 

Golden State Warriors (1) vs. New Orleans Pelicans (8)

Season Series: 3-1 Warriors
Previous Playoff Meetings: Never
Favorite Connections: Warriors guard Justin Holiday is Pelicans guard Jrue Holiday’s older brother

The Warriors are the best team in the league. They are the best team by far. They finished the year with the second best offensive efficiency and best defensive efficiency. Curry should win the Most Valuable Player Award, since he was the best player in the league and played for the best team in the league. Curry and Klay Thompson are also going to be incredibly fun to watch.

The only NBA merchandise I own is a Pelicans hat. I love watching the plucky team. Anthony Davis is a dirty-triple-double threat throughout the season. He carried the team to this spot. Omer Asik has helped improve the Pelicans post defense. Tyreke Evans has been fun to watch and Eric Gordon has shown flashes of his former self. If healthy, they could have been a sixth seed. They are just playing against the wrong team this year.

Warriors in 5.

 

Los Angeles Clippers (3) vs. San Antonio Spurs (6)

Season Series: 2-2 Even
Playoff Meetings: 2011-12 Conference Semifinals (Spurs 4-0)
Favorite Connections: Doc Rivers played two seasons for the Spurs. When David Robinson scored 71 points at the end of the season, he did it against the Los Angeles Clippers.

The Spurs don’t really die, do they? Even as a sixth seed they are the team that’s second most likely to win according to Vegas. Tim Duncan nearly averaged a double-double at approximately 67 years old. Kawhi Leonard, when healthy, has been amazing.

I can’t help but feel bad for Chris Paul. I think that he’s better than his playoff record would indicate. Chris Paul has never been to the Conference Finals. Most of the reason for this is that he’s played in the West his entire career. This won’t be his year either.

Spurs in 6.

Memphis Grizzlies (5) vs. Portland TrailBlazers (4)

Season Series: 4-0 Memphis
Playoff Meetings: Never.
Favorite Connection: Zach Randolph played for the Trail Blazers during the Jail Blazers era.

LaMarcus Aldridge has been a hero for the Trail Blazers. He suffered an injury during the middle of the year, but rather than opting for surgery, Aldridge played through the pain and helped the Blazers get into the playoffs. With the injury to Wesley Matthews, Aldridge’s sacrifice was necessary. Also, Damien Lillard plays for them. He has a history of showing up in the playoffs.

The Grizzlies have home court advantage because of the NBA’s weird division rule. The Blazers won the 4 seed because they won the Northwest Division. The Grizzlies have a better record and therefore get home court. They also have a better team from top to bottom. They also swept the season series. Recent injuries to Conley, Gasol and Allen concern me, but not enough to shift the balance of the series. 

Grizzlies in 6

Dallas Mavericks (7) vs. Houston Rockets (2)

Season Series: 3-1 Rockets
Playoff Meetings: 2004-05 (4-3 Mavericks Opening Round)
Favorite Connection: Mavericks forward Chandler Parsons was drafted by the Houston Rockets.

Chandler Parsons chose to go to the Mavericks during Free Agency, last summer. It was the first of a couple of major moves that he Mavericks made to make this team better for the playoffs. The Other move was upgrading from Felton to Rajon Rondo. It hasn’t improved their offense, but their defense has improved around Rondo.

Dwight Howard’s health is going to be important this series. The Rockets found their way to the number 2 seed by the strength of their shooting guard, an oddity in the NBA. The team has been injured all year. If Dwight goes down in this series then the Rockets won’t be making a deep run. While I think that the Mavericks might be ripe to upset a lesser team, James Harden might be enough to handle the Mavericks on his own. This will be especially true if Harden gets foul shots at the same insane rate that he did during the season.

Rockets in 7.

 

Atlanta Hawks (1) vs. Brooklyn Nets (8)

Season Series: 4-0 Atlanta
Playoff Meetings: Never.
Favorite Connections: Nets guard Joe Johnson played seven seasons with Atlanta. Atlanta swaps first round picks  with the Brooklyn Nets.

The Nets don’t deserve to be in the playoffs at an embarrassing 38-44. There are no reasons to believe in them as a franchise. They’ve been dysfunctional for as long as they’ve been in Brooklyn. Paul Pierce just called out the team’s top players in a recent interview. I only gave them the dignity of not getting swept because of my belief in Ski Mask Joe and his ability to manhandle a team and hit clutch shots repeatedly.

If the Nets were to beat a team and escape the first round, the path would not go through the Hawks who routed the Eastern Conference this year. Millsap is coming back from a shoulder injury and their best defensive wing, Thabo Sefolosha is out for the year (DNP-NYPD). Even so, I can’t imagine how the Nets win this series. People who don’t believe in the Hawks are in for a rude awakening. They have a lot of talent and they are well coached. They also have the easier side of the Eastern Conference bracket, so if they can stay healthy they have a clear path to the Conference finals.

Hawks in 5.

 

Cleveland Cavaliers (2) vs. Boston Celtics (7)

Season Series: 2-2 Even
Playoff Meetings: 4. Most Recent: 2009-10 (4-3 Boston)
Team Connections: Kendrick Perkins played for the Celtics from 2003-11 and was a member of the 2008 Championship team.

The Celtics are a proud franchise that has not won a playoff series since Kendrick Perkins was traded. They are well coached. Isaiah Thomas is fun to watch.

Look, the Cavaliers are a better team than the Celtics. Cleveland is going to win this series decisively. The season series is 2-2, because the Cavaliers benched star players during the last 2 games. Also, the last time, Lebron was in a Cavaliers uniform in the playoffs, The Celtics beat them. A month later, Lebron took his talents to South Beach. I don’t think that he’s going to take this series lightly. Also, who is supposed to guard Kyrie Irving?

Cavaliers in 4.

 

Chicago Bulls (3) vs. Milwaukee Bucks (6)

Season Series: 3-1 Bulls
Playoff Meetings: 2 (most recently 1989-90 Bulls.)
Connections: Pau Gasol scored 46 points, a career high, against the Bucks this year.

The Bucks are one of the 3 teams I’ve watched live this season. They have height advantages at every position on the court. The Greek Freak has been nothing less than exemplary, improving from his rookie performance. Jason Kidd has proven that he’s a worthy coach and in a different year he might be a Coach of the Year contender. The young Bucks will be feared in the Eastern Conference in a few seasons.

Derrick Rose might be healthy for this series. Even if he isn’t the Bulls have Gasol and Noah who I love as a front court. They have Taj Gibson and Nikola Mirotic behind them. Jimmy Butler, the NBA’s Most Improved player, also plays here. They also have the best coach in the Eastern Conference. The Bucks might be the team of the future, but the Bulls are better right now.

Bulls in 5.

Washington Wizards (5) vs. Toronto Raptors (4)

Season Series: 3-0 Raptors
Playoff Meetings: Never.
Connections: In the 2011 draft, the Wizards picked Jan Vesely. The Raptors picked Jonas Valančiūnas in the previous spot. Jonas is the Raptors’ starting Center. Jan Vesely is no longer in the league.

This is the battle of the poorly coached and guard-centric franchises. They are playing for the right to be sacrificed by the Hawks next round. The Wizards feature John Wall, former 1^st overall pick. He’s the league leader in assists and he’s a deadly scoring option. The Wizards also have Gortat and Nene, a threatening front court combination.

The Raptors feature Lou Williams who has game on and off the court. He’s my favorite for Sixth Man of the Year. Their starters, Kyle Lowry and Demar Derozan, make up among the best backcourts in the league. I think that Canada’s favorite basketball team wins handily.

Raptors in 6.

The world doesn’t need more basketball writers…

 

Often, during nights when I'm trying to go to sleep, I'll think of a quote or a piece of a quote. Then I'll have to figure out where the quote came from. A couple of nights ago, a piece of a quote came to mind. Perhaps it was a poem, or something. In the poem there was something about putting a light under a rock, or not putting a light under a rock, something like that. I spent a couple of minutes trying to figure out who said it and trying to figure out why I couldn't remember it fully.

So I got out of bed and Googled the line. I typed in "light under a" and thanks to Google's magic, I found what I was looking for. The actual line isn't from a poem, it's from the Bible, specifically Matthew 5, verse 15.

For more context, it reads.

14“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.15Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.16In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

Even though I don't consider myself to be particularly religious, and haven't stepped foot in a church in many years, growing up Christian and attending a Catholic high school has an effect on you. In the jumble of song lyrics, book quotes, and lines from movies that come to mind, occasionally a bible verse or two will pop up. After finding this verse, I wondered ,"Am I letting MY light shine?"

I struggle between two opposing things. On one hand, I take great pride in being a basketball writer. When I go on dates, and someone asks who I am and what I do, that's how I usually identify myself, even when my day job is something different. When interesting stories happen in the world of sports, I’m tempted to pen a thousand words about it. I enjoy explaining things to people. I'm not sure what exactly to do with that skill. When writer's block doesn't betray me, I love writing about the NBA. When writer's block does betray me, I often try anyway. It means a lot of me to explain things in basketball and to “show my work”, explaining why I feel a certain way.

The person who I have to thank for this is my friend Kyle, because after having many discussions with him about basketball, I've written much better things about the game. It's one thing to have an opinion. It's another thing to write a thousand words about why I feel that way. Usually after I'm done, I feel good about the argument, even if people don't agree.

But as much as that makes me feel good, I often wonder if I'm limiting myself. I'm a criminal justice major. I went to law school. For my entire life, people have told me that they think I'm smart. As uncomfortable as that always made me, it's at least somewhat true. There is no field of information that I'm the foremost expert on but I do possess a wide array of knowledge. You can put me in a room with smart people and I'm definitely going to be able hold my own. Am I wasting my talents with blog posts that compare Prometheus with Russell Westbrook?

I also remember what it was like when I had a job that gave me a bit of "Save The World" power. I got a great internship while I was in law school. I gave it my best effort, I worked hard and helped people who needed my help. By the end of that internship, I was in therapy. Until a couple of weeks ago, I never associated those two things. The stress of the job took a huge toll on me. I couldn’t sleep. I wasn’t eating well. When I went back to school I had a discussion about it with a professor and I told the professor that I was burned out.

It was a few months later when I went out for ice cream with a classmate that I first said aloud that I wasn't sure if I wanted to be a lawyer. After saying it aloud to someone who I didn't know well, I felt better about potentially following that path. I wasn't even upset when I studied for, took and failed the bar. When I first started law school, I fully expected that, at 25, I would be a lawyer. I'm okay with the idea that I won't be. The ways that you can help people are important, but the stress, long hours, and alcoholism that are prevalent in the profession bother me.

But now where does that leave me? I'm not sure what I want to do? I would love to know the answer to that question. Part of me loves writing about basketball. Part of me thinks that I should be doing something more. Am I putting my light under a bowl here?

What gives me some solace is other people. Bill Simmons, Matthew Berry and Mike Lupica don't cure cancer. They are, at their core, people who write about sports. Basketball, Football and Baseball, are just games. Fantasy football is a game within a game. But I don't think of them as "Wasting their talent". They are gifted writers. Not because they are objectively good, but because many people subjectively come across their work and decide that their work is good. They've inspired me to write about sports and they inspire me to continue writing about sport.

When I was ready to publish this post, I called Will, one of my friends in NY. When I told him about my conflicted feelings about basketball writing, he responded "But you're still writing." Then, he compared my path to that of a dimmer switch, where the light isn't just on or off but gradually increasing. It’s a comparison that I can live with.

Maybe I could be curing cancer. I'm still passionate about criminal law. I continue to feel at home when I'm in a library. But if twenty years from now, I end up being "just a basketball writer," I can live with that. Perhaps I'll discover larger, more impactful ways to let my light shine that make me happy. Writing about basketball, where people read and enjoy it, might be an acceptable way, too.

Lest We Forget– Jesus was executed

 

Because Jesus was crucified, a method of death that polite society no longer uses, I think that sometimes people of faith forget how bad Good Friday was.  Jesus didn’t exactly die of natural causes. He was executed. On the list of ways that one can die, crucifixion is high on the list. Even if you believe that Jesus is God, Jesus apparently felt every bit of crucifixion as any human would. 

Just in case I didn’t make it clear that crucifixion is awful, I’m repeating it again. How bad is crucifying someone? When we use the word “excruciating” to describe pain that’s agonizing, sever, violent or intense, it comes from a similar root word as crucifixion. When you read Harry Potter and hear about the Cruciatus Curse, that also comes from the same root word.  Just to be clear, the Cruciatus Curse is the one that inflicts unbearable pain on the victim. When I looked up the curse, I found this quote describing what it took to use it correctly  “You need to really want to cause pain... to enjoy it...” I also think that this is also a good description for the type of sadism required to desire a man’s crucifixion. In summary, crucifixion is the type of pain that other unbearable pain is measured against, including fictional torture.

Crucifixion was a way to inflict the death penalty. The name of the game wasn’t quick death, it was death in a public, sadistic fashion. After carrying your piece of wood to the spot of your death, you would be nailed to that piece of wood. In Jesus’s case the amount of time it took for him to die was within hours, but apparently it could take days. Best case scenario, you die of heart failure; worst case scenario you died of exhaustion, amongst a litany of other things. In Jesus’s case, he was speared in the side, ensuring that he would not survive for long. Crucifixion also interferes with your breathing, which is how many died from it. On top of the psychological knowledge that you were going to die, there was the actual hanging which made it harder to breathe, exasperated by the fact that you were nailed to the cross.  For other criminals, animal attacks were another concern. Birds and other vermin would just pick at your dying body. With your arms and legs nailed down, you were defenseless.

All of this was done to ensure that no one would ever commit that crime again. (Like most methods of punishment, the effectiveness of crucifixion as a crime deterrent is questionable at best). That Jesus didn’t just die, but was killed in the way that other pain is measured against might be useful to remember.

Russell Westbrook is an Arsonist

 

Interviewer: Is it always a pleasure for you to crank up the guitar, or do you ever do battle with the instrument?
Kurt Cobain: The battle is the pleasure. I'm the first to admit that I'm no virtuoso. I can't play like Segovia. The flip side of that is that Segovia could probably never have played like me.

Russell Westbrook isn’t a different type of player than he was a couple of years ago when people wanted him benched for Eric Maynor. Russell Westbrook has just become a better version of what he already was. He’s still hyperaggressive on offense. He still passes way more than people give him credit for. He’s not Chris Paul or Mike Conley. That’s fine. Defenders have different nightmares about Russ.

My favorite player to watch over the last 5 years or so has been Russell Westbrook and I’ve never been particularly shy about that. I also struggle with objectivity when describing his game/ because I don’t think that an “objective” description of what Russell Westbrook has meant to Oklahoma City has to be a bullet point list of what Russell Westbrook is not. You don’t know how long you’ll get the opportunity to watch a player. Players have off the field issues, they get injured, and they decide to retire early. For every Tim Duncan whose prime lasted for what seemed like an eternity, there’s a long list of players like Gilbert Arenas, Brandon Roy and Greg Oden who had primes that ended early or never really began. I’m not going to waste time being unappreciative of what Westbrook does.

Russell Westbrook began his career with an impressive ironman streak for the Thunder, playing every game from when he was first drafted in 2008 until the 2013 NBA Playoffs when he was injured as a result of an aggressive defensive play by Patrick Beverly. Right before the next season began, Russell Westbrook was had a second setback and a second knee surgery.

The second knee surgery was the first time I was worried about Westbrook’s career. Was that the end of great performances? Russell Westbrook once carried the Thunder to a triple overtime victory in the playoffs against the Grizzlies. During the third overtime, he ran up the court as if the game just started, with seemingly unlimited energy. Did you know that Russell Westbrook has the Thunder’s playoff scoring record? He put up 43 points against the juggernaut Miami Heat in the 2012 NBA Finals.

After the second knee surgery in 2013, he was projected to miss an extended portion of the season. He came back after 2 games. Not only did he come back early, but he was as explosive as he ever was. When I went back home to New York for Christmas, my siblings and I went to Madison Square Garden to watch Russ versus the Knicks. My sister didn’t appreciate me cheering for Russell against an overmatched Knicks team on his way to a triple double. He got the triple double in three quarters. He sat for the 4^th quarter because Scott Brooks had mercy on the Knicks.

What I didn’t know was that Westbrook was playing that game on a bum knee that he injured in the game before. 2 days later, Westbrook underwent arthroscopic surgery, his 3^rd knee surgery in less than 9 months. Meanwhile, Derrick Rose, who was drafted 3 spots before Westbrook in the 2008 NBA Draft, also had multiple knee surgeries and did not look the same as he did when he was at his prime MVP level. It wasn’t clear whether Westbrook would suffer the same fate.

The answer still isn’t clear, but right now the Thunder don’t have the option to rest Westbrook. Kevin Durant is out with an injury and the Thunder’s success depends almost entirely on Russell Westbrook. The Thunder need everything that Westbrook has to offer, because they are currently the 8th seed in an extremely competitive Western Conference. Westbrook has taken on the challenge. Before this season, Westbrook produced a total of eight career triple doubles. Since the beginning of 2015, War Machine has had ten of them including 4 consecutive triple doubles. Westbrook’s play alternates between benevolent Prometheus bringing fire to mankind and Heath Ledger’s Joker watching the world burn.

People can complain about what Wesbtrook is. Point guards need to pass more. Point guards need to get their teammates involved. Point guards can’t play like Russell Westbrook. Meanwhile, Joker Westbrook is breezing by your team’s defenders while cackling out of the side of a speeding car. This Vine of Russell Westbrook shut down Twitter. People struggled for descriptions of what happened.

Russell had a nice dunk… No, that’s not right.
Russell had a fastbreak dunk?
Russell created a fastbreak?

Then after analyzing the tape like it was the Zapruder film, people started noticing more things. Russell Westbrook, on an inbound pass ran court to court, ran past all 5 Philadelphia players including two of them who were already in the on the other side of the court when the play started. He did it so fast that the entire play was encapsulated in a Vine which can only be six seconds or less. The right handed Westbrook only dribbled 5 times down the length of the court and did it with his left hand. Ish Smith, a player known for his speed, was one of the Sixers who Russell left in his dust. 2 days before this play, Westbrook had facial surgery after having a bone in his cheek accidentally kicked in, leaving a dent in his face. Russ did all of this while dribbling a basketball. The referee also lost the race to the basket. The announcer didn’t even catch on to what happened until it was too late. He jumped from the dotted line. Nine feet later he has an explosive dunk.

All of his intensity doesn’t just benefit Westbrook. Russell Westbrook has been criticized for not passing enough. The criticism is largely meritless. He’s averaged a decent amount of assists for a point guard, despite playing with a ball dominant player in Kevin Durant who also has a high usage rate. Before this season his career high for assists was 16. In 2015, he’s met or exceeded that career high 4 times. This season, Russell Westbrook has been fourth in assists per game. Even Russell Westbrook can be Prometheus, bringing fire to others. To those who would argue that Prometheus didn’t bring fire to humanity, he stole it from the gods, Russell Westbrook is also second in steals per game.

One of the things that has aided Westbrook is the addition of Enes Kanter. Kanter is a flawed player and that’s why he was deemed expendable by the Utah Jazz. However, unlike everyone else on the Thunder he understands his role as a frontcourt player isn’t merely to take jump shots. Big Men have to get to the hoop. Over the last few years a lot of plays have ended with Russell Westbrook slashing to the rim and passing the ball to Serge Ibaka. Serge would shoot an elbow jumper or a three pointer with varying levels of success. Kanter is an old-school offensive center. When Kanter gets the ball 17 feet from the rim, he’s driving to the hoop. Kanter and Westbrook are an amazing offensive combination.

Westbrook has been leaving teams scrambling for answers this month.  17 of 17 free throws against the Hawks. 49 points and 15 rebounds against the Sixers. 43 points and 8 rebounds in a loss against Coach Thibideau’s Bulls on the 5th. Buy more Gasoline. 36 points and 11 rebounds in a 9 point win against the Bulls. 36 points and 5 steals against Boston. The only game where he didn’t score 20 points this month was on Sunday when he had 17 assists against the Heat. He’s led the Thunder to a 7-3 record.

Despite the fact that Russell Westbrook averages more points, assists, steals and rebounds than either James Harden or Stephen Curry, the only MVP award Russell will have in 2015 is the All Star MVP he won in February. That’s fine. He’ll be setting fire to a court near you.

Late Night Heat

So, I can't sleep. I’m uncomfortable and don’t immediately recognize why. I realize it’s because I’m hot. I wake up; I get out of bed; I'm peeling off clothes. I’m only wearing boxers but I’m still melting. Now I’m worried that I’m sick, but I’m not sluggish, just hot. Finally, I check my thermostat and I realize that it's 80+ degrees in my apartment and a balmy 60 degrees outside. I'm not exactly sure why that’s the case but damn it's hot in my apartment. I’m currently in front of my air conditioner. I figure that since I’m awake I may as well write about what I checked out tonight, because sleeping isn’t part of the schedule.

• St. Johns suspended Chris Obekpa for apparently failing a marijuana test. Honestly, I don't care that much if schools decide to penalize marijuana use . But it would have been nice to see Obekpa in the tournament.
• Speaking of the tournament, today was Selection Sunday I've already done my bracket. Spoiler alert, I picked Kentucky. I know that chalk picks are boring, but as it happens, Kentucky is really good and while the odds are good that they'll lose at some point, they will be favorites in every game that they play this month, so why would I pick against them. There's also nothing about their defense that screams "overrated" or "regression candidate". I'd still pick the field over Kentucky, just because of the fluky nature of March Madness The bracket doesn't let you pick the field though, so am I really supposed to pick Iowa State or Duke or Wisconsin to upset them? Not likely.
• So, Kendrick Lamar's second album, To Pimp a Butterfly, has been released. I'm definitely going to check it out.
• Watched the new 30 for 30 about Christian Laettner. It's a quality documentary as always.
• Also watched the abridged version of the Rockets Clippers game. The best part of the game was late in the 4th quarter. James Harden, MVP candidate, hit free throw after free throw throughout the game. With a few seconds to go, the announcers talk about the fact that James Harden hit 17 of his 17 free throws and that is a career high for him. Naturally, he misses the 18th. The game was also the triumphant return for Blake Griffin.
• I also learned that Enes Kanter put up 18 points and 18 rebounds in the game earlier. Enes Kanter is already the best Center that the Thunder have ever had. Is it too soon to say that? It is also alarming because Kanter was deemed to be expendable by the Utah Jazz a couple of weeks ago.

An Ode to Don Juan DeMarco Murray

 

“I'm one of the best … that done it, six digits and running
Y'all … don't want it
I got the Godfather flow
The Don Juan DeMarco”  - Jay-Z (Can’t Knock The Hustle)

It will be ok

That’s what I’m telling myself. I’m a sucker for good luck stories. When the Dallas Cowboys picked DeMarco Murray in the third round of the 2011 draft, I didn’t think much of him. Then, in week 7 of his rookie season, he had an opportunity to shine. The starting running back, Felix Jones, was injured, and Murray was the backup RB, behind Tashard Choice. DeMarco exploded for 253 yards. This set the Cowboys franchise record for yards in a game. It was also the most yards allowed by the Rams. It’s the ninth best rushing day ever. Needless to say, he was the starting running back the next week.

DeMarco’s career as a Cowboy seemed to be star crossed. He missed six games in the 2012 season with a sprained foot. He sprained an MCL in 2013. There was no doubt that DeMarco was special, when he was healthy. However, at the beginning of the 2014 season, it seemed unlikely that he’d be able to get through an entire season with an NFL workload.

2014 was unbelievable. When the season started, I drafted him early in my 10 team fantasy league. I figured that I might regret it, but I’m a Cowboys fan, and I’m a sucker for their skill position players. Despite the sprained MCL he had the previous season, he made it to the Pro Bowl. I figured that 10 games of DeMarco would be more than enough for me to win my league.

In 2012 DeMarco had 663 yards in 10 games. In 2013, DeMarco had 1121 yards in 14 games. DeMarco Murray had more rushing yards in 2014 than in 2012 and 2013 combined. The season he had was special. He had 100 plus yards in his first 8 games, an NFL record. He led the league in Rushing Yards with a monstrous 1845 yards, the 17^th best performance in NFL History. He tied for the lead in Rushing Touchdowns. He led the league in rushing yards per game and had almost 20 more than the second place guy. He led the team to the playoffs.

Last year was also a contract year for DeMarco, meaning that DeMarco would be a free agent. Should the cowboys pay DeMarco or not? The question depends on whether you believe past performance to be prologue. The Cowboys offensive line was ranked number one overall by Pro Football Focus and second in run blocking. The main players on the line are also young, and we can safely assume that they are going to improve. DeMarco has shown evidence that he’s amazing when healthy. He had few bad performances in a Cowboys uniform that weren’t related to health and none of those performances happened last year.

The other side of the argument for DeMarco Murray is the excessive number of carries he had last year. DeMarco had 392 regular season rushing attempts, 80 more than the next player. He played all 16 regular season games and 2 playoff games. Running back in the NFL is a brutal position, and the mortals who play it tend to have short careers. Running at full speed at a 250 pound linebacker who is also running at full speed towards you is not good for the body. Repeating this process more than 400 times in the course of 5 months isn’t great. In just the regular season, he had 449 touches, plays where DeMarco Murray ran the ball or caught a pass).

People who are into football statistics (especially fantasy players) will discuss the so-called “Curse of 370.” The short version of this theory is that running backs who carry the ball 370 times or more have a drop in production the next year. There’s a 2011 article about this topic. The results are both damning and intuitive. The more you run the ball, the more likely that you will have a lackluster follow-up year.

DeMarco will not be a Cowboy in 2015. According to reports, he signed a 5 year, 42 million dollar contract with the Philadelphia Eagles, a division rival. Remember earlier, when I said that the Cowboys had the second best run blocking rating in the NFL last year? Well, according to Pro Football Focus, Philadelphia has the best when their linemen are healthy. The Cowboys will have to hope that DeMarco Murray isn’t the exception to the Curse of 370. Otherwise, they could be regretting this decision 2 games a year for the next few years.

As for me, I’ll root for his success during the other 14 games. DeMarco has been a special talent, and I hope that he continues to excel. He helped to win a fantasy title last season, and I want him to continue to be a special player for as long as possible. Except when he’s playing against the Cowboys, of course.

The BIG Details 3/9

“The greatest rapper of all time died on March 9” - Canibus (Second Round K.O.

“Say he’s no Big and Pac but he’s close, how am I supposed to win when they got me fighting ghosts.” - Jay Z (Grammy Family Freestyle)

“No use in me tryin to be lyin', I been trying to be signed

Trying to be a millionaire, how I used two lifelines

In the same hospital where Biggie Smalls died

The doctor said I had blood clots, but I ain't Jamaican, man” - Kanye West (Thorugh The Wire)

On March 9, 1997, The Notorious B.I.G. died. I remember sitting in my Dad’s Ford Explorer when the news broke. I was 7 at the time. It was the first time that I had a connection to someone dying where I had an understanding of what death was. 18 years later I still regard Christopher Wallace as the greatest to ever put hands on a microphone. He had a way of turning semi-autobiographical tales into wonderful stories. To this day, people wonder “Who was the New York Knick in his song Got a Story to Tell?”.

Nowadays we don’t ask these sort of things. Part of the reason is because he had a verifiable past criminal life. The other reason, I contend, is that the Notorious B.I.G. had a way of telling a story that made it seem real. Every character was fleshed out. Random details, from the important to the innocuous are thrown in. All of this comes with Biggie’s impeccable flow. It’s one thing to have a good story but he delivered it in an amazing way. In Somebody’s Gotta Die,  from his album Life After Death Biggie masterfully delivers a story.

♫ I'm sittin in the crib dreamin' about Leer jets and coupes

The way Salt shoops and how they sell records like Snoop, (oops!)

I'm interrupted by a doorbell, 3:52, who the hell is this? ♫ - Notorious B.I.G. (Somebody’s Gotta Die)

In the opening bars of Somebody’s Gotta Die, he gives details about what he’s doing at 4 o’clock in the morning. This isn’t the meat of the story. The meat of the song involves him getting revenge for a fallen friend. (And by fallen I mean shot “no less than 50 times”). But the opening bars gives a setting to the revenge plot. First, he’s dreaming at 3:52 in the morning. This isn’t a night where he’s out having a good time. He’s dreaming about Salt from Salt-N-Pepa, a nod to Just Playin’ (Dreams).  He’s also dreaming about being successful, both in talking about private jets and nice cars, but also selling records like Snoop. Snoop, then Snoop Doggy Dogg, sold 4 million copies of his debut album, Doggystyle. Of course, Snoop was a rival rapper, a West Coast rapper who once stomped on New York buildings in a video. Biggie still shows respect to Snoop’s success, but because he’s a rival, Biggie says “oops” after the line.  That line also reflects the mid-90’s time period. The last line “Who the hell is this” is a nod to Warning, a song from his first album where he says the same line after getting a page from “Pop from the Barbershop” at 5:46 in the morning. 

♫"I gets up quick, cocks my shit

Stop the dogs from barkin', then proceed to walk in

It's a face that I seen before

My nigga Sing, we used to sling on the 16th floor

Check it, I look deeper

I see blood up on his sneakers

And his fist gripped a chrome four-fifth

So I dip, nigga, is you creepin or speakin?"♫

Sing comes to Biggie’s door with a .45 in hand (gun not record) and blood on his sneakers. A paranoid Biggie asks why Sing is there. Sing and Biggie used to sell drugs together, but it’s unclear to Biggie why Sing is there now.

♫He tells me C-Rock just got hit up at the Beacon

I opens up the door, pitiful, "Is he in critical?

Retaliation for this one won't be minimal

Cuz I'm a criminal way before the rap shit

Bust the gat shit, Puff won't even know what happened

If it's done smoothly, silencers on the Uzi

Stash in the hooptie, my alibi, any cutie

With a booty that done fuck Big Pop

Head spinnin, reminiscin' 'bout my man C-Rock♫

So now we know why Sing showed up, unexpectedly. Biggie’s friend, C-Rock got shot at the Beacon Theatre (Details later). Big finally lets him and without any further discussion, Biggie is thinking about what he’s going to do to the people who shot C-Rock. We can assume that C-Rock got killed, because when Biggie pitifully asks if he’s in critical condition, there’s no response (Details later). Another small detail comes when he says Puff (daddy, later Diddy, then Sean Combs), biggie’s Manager, “won’t even know what happened. There’s an real life, though apocryphal, story where Puff called Biggie to come to New York. Biggie leaves his drug hideout shortly before police came, raided the place and arrested his partner. The story is legendary and is veracity is in question. What is definitely true is that, even in his music, Biggie is trying to keep his criminal activity hidden from his manager.

   
♫Fillin' clips, he explained our situation

Precisely, so we know exactly what we facin'

"Some kid named Jason, In a Honda station wagon

Was braggin', about how much loot and crack he stackin'

Rock had a grip so they formed up a clique

A small crew

'Round the time I was locked up with you"

"True indeed,"

"But yo nigga, let me proceed

Don't fill them clips too high, give them bullets room to breathe

Damn where was I? Yeah...♫

      

In Verse 2, Sing explains what’s going on and it’s mostly self explanatory. Of course, while he’s telling the story, Biggie and Sing are both loading guns. Also, you find out that Sing, who used to sell drugs with Biggie on the 16th floor, also spent time in jail with Biggie while C-Rock and Jason were selling drugs together. During a  small pause in the action and some comic relief, Sing loses track of the story of how C-Rock died while reprimanding Biggie about how Big loads his gun. The small details matter here.

♫Went outta town, blew the fuck up

C-Rock went home and Jay got stuck the fuck up

Hit him twice, caught him right for the Persian white

Pistol whipped his kids, and taped up his wife (Niggas is trife)

He figured Rock set 'em up, no question

Wet em up no less than 50 shots in his direction"

"How many shots?" "Man nigga, I seen mad holes"

"What kinda gats?" "Heckler & Kochs and Calicos♫

C-Rock and Jason were successful, but then when C-Rock went home, Jason got robbed. The people who robbed Jason stole his heroin (Persian White), tied up his wife and pistol whipped Jason’s kids. This fleshes out Jason’s motives. After a brutal robbery which, “coincidentally”, happens right after C-Rock leaves, Jason thinks that C-Rock was behind it. Later Jason shoots C-Rock. Biggie interrupts the story, incredulously to ask how many times C-Rock was shot at. A lot.

♫But fuck that, I know where all them niggas rest at

In the buildin' hustlin', and they don't be strapped

Supreme in black is downstairs, the engine runnin'

Find a bag to put the guns in, and c'mon if you're comin'♫

Sing is still talking. Sing knows where to find Jason and Sing knows Jason and his goons won’t be armed. A black car is waiting and the engine is still running. Sing ends the verse making it clear that he’s going there now, regardless of whether Biggie will accompany him.

♫Exchanged hugs and pounds before the throw down

How it's gonna go down, lay these niggas low-down

“Slow down, fuck all that plannin' shit

Run up in they cribs, and make the cats abandon ship"

“See niggas like you do ten year bids

Miss the niggas they want, and murder innocent kids”

“Not I, one niggas in my eye

That's Jason

Ain't no slugs gonna be wasted”

Revenge I'm tastin at the tip of my lips

I can't wait to fill my clip in his hips♫

Right before the hit happens, someone gets scolded. The person getting scolded doesn’t want to be careful and instead wants to run in firing. One of the flaws in the storytelling here is that it’s not clear who is being scolded and who is doing the scolding. My interpretation is that Sing is doing the scolding and Biggie is being scolded. Sing seems to be the experienced one in this song from the previous verses and Biggie is the excitable one. But Biggie responds that he won’t miss when he shoots Jason and Jason is the only target he wants.

♫Revenge I'm tastin at the tip of my lips

I can't wait to fill my clip in his hips

"Pass the chocolate Thai"

Sing ain't lie

There's Jason with his back to me

Talkin to his faculty♫

Biggie smokes with revenge on his mind and he sees Jason facing away from Biggie talking to his crew. Jason and his crew are “Fish in a Barrel”, as the saying goes. 

♫I start to get a funny feeling

Put the mask on in case his niggas start squealin'

Scream his name out (Ay yo playboy!), squeezed six, nothin' shorter

Nigga turned around holdin' his daughter♫

Biggie does enough to put a mask on so he’s unidentifiable (Aside: Biggie weighed nearly 400 pounds, it seems like the mask is a bit unnecessary). After he yells for Jason, to turn around, BIG shoots him, and realizes that Jason is holding his kid. As the song ends, you here a lot of commotion and you hear a baby crying.

At the end of the song, Biggie gets his revenge, but his revenge results in a kid being orphaned. Throughout his music, he could weave a tale, ranging from dark humor to tragic. For example, at the end of Niggas Bleed the guys who are coming to kill him get their Range Rover towed, because they stupidly “double parked by a hydrant.”  In Me and My Bitch, his girlfriend gets killed. In Suicidal Thoughts, the last song on the Ready to Die album, Biggie shoots himself.

Sometimes you know that you’re not long for this earth. Biggie’s first album was titled Ready to Die. Biggie died of multiple gunshot wounds on March 9, 1997.  On March 25, 1997, his second album, Life After Death, was released. It was a great loss for rap. We will never know where his career would have gone. What we are left with is an incredible sample of storytelling across those two albums. His music provides a blueprint that other rappers would do well to follow. 

Swaggerville Journal 3/1 - Inner Critic

 

Late at night in a one-bedroom apartment in Boulder, Colorado.

Inner Critic: Hey, are you awake?

Darryl: No.

Inner Critic: You just answered. Are you awake now?

Darryl: Obviously. What.

Inner Critic: I have a question for you.

Darryl: Fire away

Inner Critic: Yeah, I just wanted to know… WHAT THE FUCK?

Darryl: It’s too late for this shit.

Inner Critic: It’s March. Didn’t you make a promise to a bunch of people, last month? I thought we had a deal.

Darryl: I did really well last month.

Inner Critic: You said that you would write every day last month. Every day for 28 days. You even picked February because it was a short month.

Darryl: and I wrote a lot.

Inner Critic: And now it’s March and you didn’t even write 14 entries.

Darryl: It got windy, remember?

Inner Critic: All month?

Darryl: And it got cold so I couldn’t write outside and besides I wrote more last month than I did almost any time last year.

Inner Critic: You said 28 and you didn’t even get to twenty, you got to eight.

Darryl: 8 is enough

Inner Critic: Well this month, you’re going to do better. 

Darryl: Last month, I ran out of things to talk about.

Inner Critic: What about “Pretty Eyes?”

Darryl: *looks at Desktop, with draft entitled “Pretty Eyes” staring back.* Nope. Not happening. Maybe if I run out of things, but no. She probably wouldn’t appreciate it either.

Inner Critic: Publish it, no one reads your blog anyway unless the word NBA is in the headline.

Darryl: People read my Race stuff too… but yeah, try again

Inner Critic: What about Anthony Mason?

Darryl: Too soon.

Inner Critic: Russell Westbrook?

Darryl: Everyone knows how I feel about Westbrook.

Inner Critic: Therapy?

Darryl: Nope

Inner Critic: Your job?

Darryl: Can’t

Inner Critic: Figure it out on your own. Either way, if you want to get better at this, you need to write at least ten things this month. Oh, and Derrick Rose.

NBA Trade Deadline: A Tale of Two Cities

 

The trade deadline is filled with conflicting incentives. You have some players that are begging to leave their current team and start anew elsewhere. You have some players who would like to stay with their current team but are getting traded because it is in the teams long or short term interests to do so. Some players are getting traded to make their teams better. Some players are getting traded to make their team worse. Some players are getting traded just to make salaries match. Some players are moving to better situations. Some players are moving to worst situations. Some trades will have players telling their friends and family how happy they are to move. Some trades involve telling your wife and kids that they are going to be uprooted yet again so that the player can continue to live their NBA dream.

Sometimes we forget that sports and the actions around it don’t just involve matching salaries and skill sets. People are also involved. Trades split up friends and move them to opposite sides of the country. But a trade can change a player’s future, giving them an opportunity to show their talents or put them in a situation where their minutes are reduced and they become largely forgotten. Teams know what players they are getting and giving away, but they don’t know whether those acquisitions and departures will make their team better or worse. Often teams are surprised in one way or the other.

With that being said, 37 players were traded on Thursday, the NBA trade deadline.

 

The Straightforward Trades (2 team deals)

OKC Thunder trades Ish Smith to the Pelicans

This trade appears to have been done for salary relief.

Timberwolves trade Thaddeus Young to the Brooklyn Nets for Kevin Garnett

Kevin Garnett, the only player still in the league from the 1995 draft class, returns to the team that drafted him 2 decades ago. There is speculation that the Wolves want to re sign him but I’m pretty sure that this trade just allows Garnett to retire with the team that drafted him.  Meanwhile, Thad Young has been in basketball purgatory going from the Listless 76ers to the awful Timberwolves to the Nets. One day, he’ll go to a team that can use his talents.

Nuggets trade Javale McGee and a Oklahoma City’s top-18 protected first round pick to the Sixers for the rights to Cenk Akyol.

Javale McGee is a fun player to watch but he’s expensive and often injured. That’s why the Nuggets traded him and included a draft pick. The “player” they got back was drafted in 2005 and likely will not play in the NBA.

Kings trade Ramon Sessions to the Wizards for Andre Miller

Backup Point Guard for Backup Point Guard.  Andre Miller is going to play for his former coach, George Karl and Sessions gets to experience the playoffs.

Knicks trade Pablo Prigioni to the Rockets for Alexy Shved and two second round picks.

This is a mostly meaningless trade. It gives the Rockets some guard depth and little else.

Nuggets trade Arron Afflalo and Alonzo Gee to the Blazers for Thomas Robinson, Will Barton, Victor Claver and a lottery protected 2016 first round pick.

Afflalo goes to the Blazers to be a slightly overqualifed backup. Thomas Robinson, 5th overall pick in the heralded 2012 NBA draft, gets traded to his 4th team since being drafted. The Nuggets receive a draft pick.

76ers trade KJ McDaniels to the Rockets for Isaiah Canaan and second round pick

There are good reasons to the 76ers. I was going to buy tickets to watch the Sixers play against the Nuggets to watch KJ McDaniels. He’s athletic and does a lot of fun things on defense.  Now he’s gone from an occasional starter on the Sixers to a bench player on the Rockets. Canaan is probably going to be the starting point guard for the Sixers. 

Complex deals (3 team trades)

Suns, Bucks, 76ers  

Phoenix acquires Brandon Knight and Kendall Marshall (waived)
Milwaukee gets Michael Carter Williams, Miles Plumlee and Tyler Ennis
Philadelphia acquires Lakers top-5 protected 2015 draft pick

So, Tankadelphia just traded their Rookie of the Year for a draft pick. Some people are worried that this is just the Sixers tanking again. But I think that Carter- Williams is overrated and the RoY award comes from being in a weak draft class. Getting the 6th or 7th pick in the 2015 will be more valuable.

Thunder, Jazz, Pistons

Detroit gets Reggie Jackson
Oklahoma City gets Enes Kanter, Steve Novak DJ Augustin and Kyle Singler
Utah gets Kendrick Perkins (Waived), Grant Jerett, rights to Tibor Pleiss, and 2 second round picks

Detroit gets a starting-caliber point guard. The Thunder get a starting caliber center. I’m surprised that Utah didn’t get more in the trade. I guess that it’s tank time for Utah 

Celtics, Suns, Pistons

Boston gets Isaiah Thomas, Jonas Jerebko and Luigi Datome
Phoenix gets Marcus Thornton and a 2016 second round draft pick
Detroit gets Tayshaun Prince

Prince goes back to Detroit. Thomas gets another opportunity to come off the bench, except now he does it for a non-playoff team.

Swaggerville journal 2/9 - Late Night Scoring

CU REC CENTER - Finally, went to watch CU Law's hockey team play. Naturally, they won. It's always nice running into classmates and it's even better when the event is good. Also, it's nice to finally keep my word about going. In return, Andy scored twice. Also, I think that 36 minutes is a perfect amount of hockey.

With 25 minutes to spare, I got a short post written. There'll be more quantity (and possibly quality) tomorrow.

Swaggerville Journal 2/8 – Evaluation

 

BURKE PARK- It’s another sunny day in Boulder, Colorado. In February, today has an expected high temperature of 60 degrees. Last week, I said that I would try to write something every day. 5 out of 7 days I was successful. I wrote about my bike, going to watch Raw, dancing, salsa lessons, and D’Angelo’s album “Black Messiah”. So far, so good. I could look at the fact that I missed 2 days as a failure, or I could look at the fact that I had 28 entries all of last year and see my 5 entries this month as a resounding success. I’m making an effort to view the world as “glass half full.”

I’m writing this entry from Burke Park. Last year, in 2014, I would come here often when I needed peace of mind. When I was in New York, I would go to Washington Square Park for the same reasons. There is something nice about being outdoors, even for someone like me who doesn’t generally like it.

Of course, today presents a special challenge. It’s windy. At first, it was “cool breeze across the face” windy. Later, as I biked to the park, it was “guess I’m not going to read a book outside” windy. Now, it’s “laptop violently getting pushed across the table” windy.  A lady just passed by and told me how brave I was to continue. Writing about race last year required some bravery. Discussing therapy required bravery. A minor blog post shouldn’t require bravery. I’ll show you what I’m talking about.

I heard you like blog posts, so I put a blog post in your blog post.

I can’t write like this. I’ll have to try again later.

Swaggerville journal 2/6 - Salsa

So you think you can dance?

I'm okay with dancing. What stymies me it's when I have steps to perform. Being told "Do this, at this time" frustrates and confuses me. Either way, I still want to figure out out, and for step 1 of that process, I took salsa lessons.

In college, I tried some ballroom dancing with varied amounts of success. I haven't tried it since. When someone brought up salsa lessons on one of the law school Facebook pages, I decided I'd try again. Last night, after work, I biked over and took a beginner lesson.

I enjoyed doing the lessons. I learned the basic step and then how to do a turn. There was another step that I was taught, but I couldn't figure it out. Either way, I enjoyed it and felt accomplished for my first time trying it out. Then they let us dance on our own.

Yesterday, I told a story seeing how much of a shy introvert I was in high school. Things haven't changed that much. Asking people to dance, even at a salsa dance class where everyone is there to dance, is difficult for me. Another actual problem there was that I had a limited set of moves that I could do, so things got boring quickly, since i'm expected to lead and all I have are 2 moves and one of them is rhythmic walking.

On the other hand, I enjoyed watching other more experienced people do it. While I was doing single-digit addition on the dance floor, they were doing calculus. I think that's how people who give lessons get you to come back. At first, you're frustrated. Learning to dance is difficult and the rewards are incremental. But then, when you see what other dancers can do, you come back for more incremental rewards until, in theory, you're as good as those dancers.

Now is the part where I'm I'm supposed to have a clean ending. I say whether I'll go back. I talk about some valuable lesson that I received. Unfortunately, I have none of that available at the moment. It was nice to go and maybe I'll do it again at some point. Until then, I'll just have to settle for practicing steps like Richard Gere in "Shall we Dance."

Swaggerville journal 2/5- Dancing

It's great that I have friends who have known me for more than a decade. In a lot of ways, I'm a lot different than the person I was when I was 15. The friend who I've known the longest, AK, is also the best male dancer I know. (The best female dancer I know is whomever I happen to be dancing with at the moment.) AK pretty much came out of the womb with rhythm. I've known him since first grade, and at every social, prom, or any event when music is on, he's the best dancer on the floor.

On the other extreme, to give an example of how I felt about dancing when I was younger, I have to talk about Junior Luau from my junior year of high school. When the music was on and there was a lot of fun to have, I was sitting at a table with a bunch of friends, petrified that one of my more extroverted friends might try to force me from my chair. For most of the night, I was successful. I was able to blend in pretty well. Then my classmate Nirmala started approaching the table. Of course, my friend Billy (in one of the rare times that he exposed himself as the evil human being that he is) yells over to her "Darryl hasn't danced in a while". Nirmala forced me away from the table and we danced clumsily and awkwardly for a song or two before I was happily able to get back to my chair.

There are a couple of things I should mention here. Nirmala loved dancing. A few months later, at a Halloween dance, even though I wasn't a better dancer, I was the one doing the approaching. I spent most of the next 5 years getting a crash course in "How To Dance Better" from AK and Nirmala. I wanted to get better. This may have been influenced by the fact that I was dating Nirmala by then. (As someone wise once told me, either you dance with her or someone else will) Since things worked out, maybe Billy isn't that evil and I've gotten more than my share of payback since, so we're even.

Now, at 25, things are a bit different. I try to dance to everything, whether the.music is hip-hop, swing, or even EDM (MOAR JUMPING, MOAR FISTPUMPING). I'm excited about any event where there might be music. Whether dancing in the middle of a circle, battling classmates, dancing on tables in Breckenridge (that was fun), and the classic "trying to get an attractive girl's attention". I definitely enjoy dancing a lot more now than I did back then. I'm still nowhere near as good as AK, though.

Swaggerville Journal 2/4 – Black Messiah

I was pretty disappointed by most of the music that was released last year in 2014. There wasn't a standout rap album. No other genres really had an album that really stuck out to me.

Luckily, in December, Black Messiah by D'Angelo was released. In a major way, it's the opposite of In the Lonely Hour. Where in the Lonely Hour exudes vulnerability and immaturity, Black Messiah is a mature album dripping in... confidence. I've listened to songs from that album almost every day. Every week, I have another favorite song. My favorite song was "Prayer", at first. Another week, my favorite song was "Sugah Daddy". This weekend, my favorite song was "Really Love."  Now, I've given up because the whole album was so good and any song in the album could be considered the best, with the possible exception of “1000 Deaths,” which lyrically does nothing for me.

One of the things that pops out immediately is that the musical choices that are made for the album almost always work. Black Messiah is an album that you want to listen to with your best speakers. The album features great drums, Spanish guitar, and other instruments. I'm pretty sure I also heard a gong at one point of the album. It's obvious that a lot of work went into making the album. His live performance of "Really Love" on Saturday Night Live sounded great, and I assume that his live performances of the songs from this album are just as good.

Disclaimer: This album is largely “baby making music”. Use caution (and protection) when listening to this album.

If it isn't already obvious, I absolutely loved listening to this album. For those who like arbitrary ratings, I give this album 5 September baby showers out of 5.

Swaggerville journal 2/2 - Raw

I'm glad people appreciate this bizarre little project. One of the problems with writing every day is to try to have something to write about. Luckily, a couple of things were in my favor.

First, I'm a huge wrestling fan. I enjoyed it when I was younger and thought that it was real. I enjoy it now that I know matches are scripted and choreographed. In some ways, it's more impressive.

Second, WWE Raw was in Denver this week. Raw, for those who don't know, is wresling's weekly exhibition. Every Monday, Raw is broadcast live from a different city. This week it was in Colorado.

Third, thank God for snow. Every month or so, wrestling has major events (formerly known as pay-per-views). Usually the episode of Raw that comes after a ppv is really good. There's a lot of fallout from the last ppv and preparation for the next one. The last ppv "Royal Rumble" was last week and it ended controversially. The episode of Raw after the Rumble was scheduled to be in Hartford, CT. Of course, it snowed on the east coast last week and that resulted in the cancellation of Raw. So, as a result, the first Raw after the Rumble was in Denver. 

So, today I bought a ticket to watch Raw. The seats weren't great, but I was in the building, and that's what mattered. It was my first time going to the Pepsi Center by myself as well.

Without getting involved in wrestling minutia, I noticed a couple of things from my night.

The pyrotechnics are deafening.
The slaps are loud enough that I could hear them clearly.
I'm not sure if the Denver crowds are a lot less loud than their New York counterparts, but I have no evidence to the contrary.

One of the things that really stuck out to me was something I didn't know happened until it was too late. For those who don't know, I'm hearing impaired. For the last 20 years, I haven't been able to hear out of my right ear. As a result, I have trouble with deciphering the direction of a sound, even when I can hear it. If someone's on my right side saying something, and I'm not expecting it, they may as well not exist. While I was watching a match, a lady talks me on the shoulder and tells me one of the ushers had been trying to get my attention. Of course, the lady was on my right side and there were a few kids between us, so it took me a while to figure out what she was saying. By time I caught what she was saying and got up, the usher was gone. Of course, it's not the first thing that I've missed because of my hearing. Won't be the last, sadly.

But the night went well. The show was great. The matches were predominantly good. Seeing some of the "behind the curtain" things, live, was also fun. It was nice going out on my own.

Thanks for reading. I don't think I'll be going anywhere tomorrow night. So we'll see how I'm able to find content tomorrow night.