Say @@@@@ again, I dare you I double dare you

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/24/sports/basketball/bulls-noah-apologizes-for-using-antigay-slur.html

F*****

I’m from a budding generation where the rights of gay people can reasonably be considered civil rights. I preface my post of the day in knowing that 15 years ago my point of view would have been more of a fringe position. I also know that even in liberal New York City, where we have gay pride parades and have all types of events promoting marriage equality I hear that gay slur on basketball courts, in classrooms, and on TV. I’m of the opinion that within my generation being against gay marriage is closer to taboo than it has ever been, at least in American history.

Marriage in this country often has nothing to do with religion. Marriage is generally a means to attain benefits and to ensure that the person you love is allowed to share your assets and property in life, and in death that they are able to receive your shared property. Marriage isn’t just love and Adam and Eve in this country. If marriage were only a church procedure then I probably would be more understanding of the official position of the federal government against marriage. If the Catholic Church doesn’t honor same-sex marriage, they are a private institution and therefore they have a right to allow or disallow whatever activities they want within the confines of their facilities.

Because of the estimated 1,700 federal benefits (Pinello, 2003) that come through marriage, as well as all of the social benefits that come from consummating a committed relationship through marriage it seems reasonable that states should allow same-sex marriage within their jurisdictions. It serves many purposes. First, people will flock to your state to get married. Marriage is an economy booster, as people will rush to buy wedding rings, flowers, gifts for the couples. Second, it promotes monogamy and committed relationships between these couples. The option for marriage allows people to be more open about their relationship status. Third, it helps reduce bias and therefore crime in these jurisdictions. Banning interracial marriage was only recently declared unconstitutional (Loving v. Virginia, 1967). Seeing interracial couples over time helped reduce overt bias. Kids growing up saw black and white people dating and marrying and it became more and more okay. This made them less likely to perpetrate hate crimes and other similar acts of bigotry. To be clear, I'm not saying that being against same sex marriage means that your bigotted against same sex couples. However, I am saying that if same-sex marriage were legalized that bigotry would be reduced.

I’m not suggesting the world will change completely if same sex marriage is legalized. I’m not even suggesting that people won’t continue to share views against same sex marriage. I’m in a relationship where I’m judged harshly because of my racial background and because of the person who I love and one day hope to marry. This is more than 40 years after Loving v. Virginia was decided. However, I do know that those opinions are on the fringe and, at least publicly, people deride those who share those opinions. Goodridge was the first case to legalize same-sex marriage in a state and I’m sure in the near future it will be legalized federally.

Now, its time to get away from away from the rainbow and back to Noah’s arc. Joakim Noah just made a comment in anger that will likely lighten his wallet. I’m sure the angel of Stern will help relieve the stress of Noah’s hefty $3,128,536 salary with about a $100,000 fine, similar to the one Kobe Bryant received last month for using a similar slur to a referee. I also imagine that Stern will go to the next NBA star's house who says it and deliver a speech similar to this one, with Samuel L. Jackson playing the role of Stern, and "what" being replaced with the slur.

Noah spent his youth in Queens, NY and likely learned, by proxy, that it was okay to use the phrase from being on the basketball courts and classrooms. That is a habit that will be hard to break. However, if players keep getting hit with big fines for using it, they will be realize there are much better ways to yell back at fans or at referees, if so inclined.

I don’t think Noah is especially bigoted for using it, much as I don’t think that every person who uses the N-word is particularly bigoted. I hear both words on Xbox Live quite often. I hear both on basketball courts quite often. I often hear people try to equate the usage of both words on NBA courts. There is a big difference. While both words are offensive, in the context of the NBA they are different. If the NBA is representative of the general population, approximately 10 percent (according to the Kinsey report) of players could be gay. Even if the group is double, that would be 20 percent homosexual and 80 percent heterosexual. The offended party would be a heavy minority. Meanwhile, black players are the heavy majority, approximately 80 percent as of the ’08-’09 season. Secondly, as openly gay and black journalist LZ Granderson notes,

“My friend Ric Bucher said he's heard the N-word used on court, so punishing Kobe for a slur is a slippery slope. I say if Kevin Love or Steve Nash dropped the N-word on court that slope would dry up in a hurry.” (Granderson, 2011)

I have a feeling that just like using racial slurs on the basketball court which was okay in the 1950’s and completely not okay now, I’m sure that within a generation yelling a gay slur wouldn’t come to mind when angry.