Atlas and Icarus

 

"And Atlas through hard constraint upholds the wide heaven with unwearying head and arms, standing at the borders of the earth before the clear-voiced Hesperides; for this lot wise Zeus assigned to him."

I used to say that if I were ever to get a pictorial tattoo, I would get a tattoo of Atlas. Atlas sided with the Titans in the war against the Olympians. After they lost, Zeus confined him to the punishment of holding up the heavens for all eternity. (Also depicted as supporting the pillars dividing heaven and earth and occasionally he’s depicted in art as holding up the Earth). Often people use the phrase “weight of the world on [one’s] shoulders” in describing the Atlas story.

“Only the feathers floating around the hat
Showed that anything more spectacular had occurred
Than the usual drowning.”  -Edward Field (Icarus)

 

The other pictorial tattoo I’ve thought about is one of Icarus. The story is that Icarus’ father was imprisoned in the Labyrinth (his invention). He made two sets of wings, one for him and one for Icarus. He warned Icarus not to fly too close to the sun. As they flew away from the Labyrinth Icarus flew higher and higher until eventually he was too close to the sun. The wax that held the wings together melted and Icarus fell into the water. 

In some ways, Atlas and Icarus (and my feelings about those stories) are a useful descriptor for my feelings about my college years in New York and my time in law school at Colorado. My ex-girlfriend’s mom was the first person to use the Atlas descriptor to describe me. (Although at the time she made the comment, she didn’t know that we were dating, much less that the reason why I looked like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders was related to that fact. It’s complicated.) The problem with being a bearer of secrets is that some secrets are hard to bear. They weigh on you. Now, I do it naturally, and people who know me well know that anything that’s said to me will remain a secret for as long as they ask. It’s a burden I’m capable of handling, but it is still a burden. Hence, Atlas.

I’ve often described my years in Colorado as “flying too close to the sun”. It’s been a great time overall. I’ve gotten a lot of freedom. I live on my own in my humble apartment. I don’t have to deal with the nightmare situations that I escaped from in New York. I spend amazing Thursday nights at the Dark Horse (the local watering hole) doing karaoke and rapping along with some of my favorite songs (and occasionally singing).  I’ve gotten amazing opportunities to work with people, which I loved. It has been great learning how to be a competent adult. I love my time at Colorado Law.

But I graduate next month. April has been rough on my psyche. The light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming freight train of Bar Exam preparation, job search, and a lot of good friends leaving Colorado to go back home to practice law (or at least study for the exam). In some ways, life has been too good, because a lot of what has made it great is going to end soon. The flight isn’t over, but I’m 5,400 feet in the air and the wax is dripping.

I haven’t gotten either tattoo yet. I haven’t quite figured out whether I’m going to. There’s also Galatians 6:7 (Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.) and 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.) that are higher on my tattoo priority list. (Insert comment hear about the irony of tattooing bible verses when there are Old Testament verses that strictly prohibit tattoos.) However, it is something that I am considering.